


Can He Hear me?

by Zee6



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Drama, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-04-15 01:19:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14148792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zee6/pseuds/Zee6
Summary: Classic Jean and Marco college au fic. There is a lot of fluff and angst and drama. Jean being a awkward angry dork pinning after Marco. I also have this posted on Fanfiction.net so those who have read it there please don't spoil for the rest of us, thanks.





	1. Chapter 1

12:00pm Lecture is always the worst for me. Its right when I want to be eating lunch. So when I get out of class it’s later than I usually eat and I can’t eat before because then, it’s too early. So my art studies class was really starting to become a bother. I don’t remember why I took the class in the first place. I’m not an art major but maybe one drunken night it sounded fun. I can’t remember but I do remember the first time I saw him.  
The room was muggy and smelled of ink, coffee, and exhaustion. The teacher looked bright and well versed in the ways of art but also like he took no shit from anyone. Everyone around me looked tired. There was no difference in these students than in any other ones except that these people looked like more fun to be around. Our lecture hall was like any other, the semi circle of desks surrounding the professor going all the way up at an angle. I decided because of my little knowledge of the subject that I would sit fairly close to the front to absorb all of the information I could. It was two weeks into the class like any other day. The PowerPoint was on talking about classic renaissance artists and I was taking notes while trying very hard to not think about my ever so present hunger when I looked straight ahead of me.  
He looked about my age with dark brown hair parted in the middle. Petite brown specks littered his nose and cheeks in an unmaintained manner. His deep brown eyes focused harshly on the professor and his words. He took down everything and seemed like he didn’t miss a word. He looked up for just a second and though he didn’t make eye contact with me I knew I had to take a look at his notes. I don’t know how long I stared at him for but the next thing I know I was watching people stir and pack up. Class must have been over and I didn’t realize it in my freckled daydreams. I quickly began packing up my things. Now I had to ask that guy for his notes because I missed the last part of the lecture. My feet didn’t move as fast as they should have and I watch him walk out of the hall. Before he completely disappeared I called out to him.  
“Hey...uh guy with the freckles and the blue shirt. Hey can you hear me!” I yelled hoping for a response but only getting the chance to watch him walk out. As I made my way to the cafeteria I wonder why he didn’t respond. The only reason that seemed logical enough was because he didn’t hear me.  
“Earth to Jean, are you okay?” A small voice called out behind me. I turned to see the small blond. His blue eyes looked into my brown ones with worry. “I’ve been calling your name since you left your classroom.” He held his books and note books tight to his chest as we weaved through the chaos of the college café.  
“Hey Armin, yeah sorry I didn’t hear you. I was a little distracted.” I explained rubbing the back of my neck.  
“I noticed, are you okay?” he repeated.  
“Yeah I’m fine just hungry. What are you getting?” Without his notice I brought us to the first line I saw and was looking at the menu. Armin was a worrier. He cared a lot about people and had a tenancy to over read emotions. We were good friends despite his friends hating me. We met in my math class when I asked him if he understood any of the shit on the board. From then on I’ve bought him coffee and he’s helped me with my math as well as all of my other classes. As we got our food and sat down he pulled out something and began working on it.  
“So what had you so distracted?” he asked highlighting a particular part in his notes.  
“Nothing really, just something I heard in class. I’m starting to like it actually.” I took a large bite of my sandwich, and then mouth full asked “Why don’t you type your notes? We live in the 21 century if you didn’t notice.” He rolled his eyes and took a drink of his coffee.  
“Handwritten notes help me remember the information better. Maybe you should try it instead of pretending to take notes and playing solitaire.” The response cut into my arrogant demeanor like butter.  
“Whoa, note taken.” I said ironically and he shot me a glare. I raised my hands in the air in an action of defeat. “I didn’t mean to do that.”  
He set his highlighter down and rubbed his temples. He looked up at me and suddenly looked very tired. His eyes had bags and dark circles. His mouth sat in a tight position as he figured out what to say.  
“I’m sorry, I have been stressed. Erin is being an asshole and Mikasa won’t talk to him and well it’s a whole thing. Sorry I snapped at you.”  
I waved a hand at him and smiled just a little. “Its fine, I always think Erin’s an asshole but he must be doing something really shitty to get you to say it.” He chuckled and raised his hands and began tying his golden locks into a pony tail.  
“Yeah, well he’s being one.” He finished putting his hair up and went back to his notes. As he highlighted and drank his coffee I could tell he wanted to tell me more, or maybe I just wanted to pry.  
“Tell me more.” He bit the inside of his cheek and sighed.  
“Okay, but don’t tell Erin I told you.”  
“I don’t tell Jaeger anything” I stated seriously.  
“He has this huge crush on his professor, you know the one. He teaches Nazi propaganda and World War Two. He has been pining after this man for weeks, walking around the dorm being on edge. Finally Mikasa had it and broke the truth to him. He didn’t take it well. They have been fighting ever since and I have been caught in the middle.” He hung his head low and breathed slowly as if trying to catch his breath.  
I knew how stressed he was about this so I held my laughter in. I knew this teacher he was talking about and he was not the gay type. Not like there is a type but he doesn’t seem like he even has the ability to love, especially Jaeger. I reached a hand out and patted Armin’s arm which made him look at me.  
“Hey don’t stress it too much he’ll get over this. It’s just a crush.” Armin gave me a weak smile and we finished our lunch and went our separate ways for the day. I went through the rest of my classes laughing about Erens’ teacher crush and thinking about that guy. I don’t know why he was on my mind but he was. His presence lingered in my mind for the rest of the day and even seeped into my dreams. I woke the next day in a good mood and curious when the next time I would see that guy, and I wouldn’t have guessed where it would be next. 

To help make tuition I work part time at a coffee shop near the university and I happen to work with a couple of friends. I work the front counter a lot because no one else wants to. A lot of irritated students or old people order at this specific store so it’s awful being upfront. I have the worst attitude so they put me on the counter because people are less likely to get mad at me directly because I look intimidating. As I put my apron on a young pony-tailed girl slides towards me. Right next to her is her partner in crime. They smile sweetly and look at me both blinking quickly to make themselves seem more innocent. I reach under that counter to retrieve a rag and begin wiping the finger print covered counter.  
“What do you want?” I refer to them as one person without looking away from my task. The boy makes a noise and walks over to the other side of me and flops on the counter top.  
“Why so harsh? We’re just saying hi.” He says watching his friend lay on the counter as well.  
“Yeah you don’t need to be so mean Jean.” She says with exaggeration.  
“You’re dirtying my counter.” I say finishing my task and putting the rag away. I walk over the coffee counter and check everything, making sure they stocked before I got here; they didn’t. One hand on my hip and the other in the air I turn to the troublesome duo. “What the hell, you didn’t stock.” My scolding brings them to attention and with faster speed than I thought was possible by them, they rush off to stock. As I start my next duty I hear Connie call out from the back of the store.  
“Hey, you know how you’re a hermit and never leave your dorm?” I pause but don’t look at him. He just continues. “Well there is a party tonight. You have the night off and no classes or work tomorrow. So you should come with Sasha and me.”  
Before I could get a word in I hear Sasha chime in. “Come on it’ll be fun! And there is a girl we want you to meet.”  
“Sasha!” Connie yelled dropping his arm full of foam cups dramatically” She looked back and shrugged.  
“Come on he wasn’t going to buy our story. At least now he’ll wear something nice.” She said folding her arms.  
“Pick those up and I’m not going.” I finished my scan of the lobby and walked back behind the counter. “Also I’m a little concerned that you know my schedule.” Both of their eyes were on me then on each other. They bickered and finished stocking. I took my usual spot in the back and listened to their stupid fight over me. I didn’t go to parties because they were stupid. It was a bunch of idiots getting together with bad music and booze. My idea of a fun night didn’t involve drunk strangers and dirty frat houses. It involved getting drunk by myself in my dorm. Every so often they tried to get me to go to parties, mostly because they wanted me to be their muscle if they got into a fight or be their DD but they never had an agenda for me before. Maybe meeting a girl wouldn’t be that bad, but then again maybe I don’t want to meet a girl. For the 60th time today that freckled weirdo has popped into my head for some unknown reason. The next thing I know both of my coworkers are in front of my face.  
“Listen if you go I’ll buy you lunch.” Connie offered and Sasha yelled “And dinner!” He turned and gripped “I’m not made of money Sasha!”  
“It would be more interesting if you were.” She responded and before he could say anything she got on her knees in front of me and bowed her head. “Please, just this one party. We will never beg you again just this one. And this girl is very nice, promise.” Her mouth and big brown eyes smiled up at me, pleading. If she was this desperate then maybe I should.  
“Fine!” I yelled standing up quickly. “God I’ll go but if it sucks I’m leaving.” I rubbed the back of my head as the two of them jumped up and down and hugged like they had just won the lottery. They high fived and started talking at the same time but I walked away back to the front of the store because the bell rang. I froze just behind the cash register shocked by who just walked in. His brown eyes were glued to the floor as he scurried up the counter. “U..Uh…hi. How are you?” I asked more nervously than I wanted to sound. But he didn’t respond, instead he held out a paper without looking at me or anyone else. He pulled out his phone and only then did I realize he had headphones shoved in his ears. I took the shaky piece of paper out of his hands and read his order. I looked up at him, confusion taking over my features. “Connie come make this order.” I yelled. I held the paper back out to him and announced his total. “$4.40 please.” I have to admit I sounded saltier than I wanted to, but he could also have enough decency to talk to his cashier.  
He held out his money and waited for his change patiently. Connie came out and took his little receipt to start the order. We exchanged looks as the guy sat at a table and stared at his phone. We called out his order and waited. Only when he looked up did he come and get it. Before he hurried out the door he left a tip in the small Mason jar in front of the register and smiled at me, finally looking me in the eyes. His bright smile took over my mind for a second. Connie’s words brought me back to reality.  
“That guy comes in all the time; he never talks and always has headphones in. He seems like a jerk but he’s nice.” He said cleaning up his mess.  
“And he always leaves a tip!” Sasha exclaimed cleaning the counter with Connie. “Did you know him?” She asked. I made a small noise in my throat and turned around shaking his image and smile out of my head. This guy really knew how to get into the cracks.  
“He’s in my art studies class.”  
“Oh I didn’t know we all went to the same school.” Sasha said putting her hands on my shoulders. Really I didn’t know either but I was done with the conversation.  
“We need to get to work.” I demanded shaking the young girl off my shoulders and walking to the back room to find something to do. I heard mummers of complaints but ignored them and instead thought of my upcoming party and my freckled mystery boy.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two  
The room felt muggy and smelled like stale beer and cheap air freshener, which is exactly what I expected from a college party but it wasn’t as crazy as I thought it might be. There was a couch and a couple of chairs out. People were sitting and talking, laughing. No one was making out on tables and spin the bottle was not being played. I walked past the crowd of chill people and found myself in kitchen. Alcohol lined the table and cupboards but the room was empty except for one girl. Her dark straight hair hung around her shoulders and she was looking in the opposite direction than me. I stuffed my hands in my jacket pockets and looked at the spread of booze and decided on a beer with a brand I didn’t recognize. I leaned on the counter across of her and she then looked at me.  
“Hey.” Was what I said before I realized it was Mikasa standing in front of me. She had a grey long sleeve shirt and dark blue jeans that complemented her figure well and her long red scarf hung loosely around her neck, framing her chest and shoulders. She nodded at me firmly and went back to looking away. I had never actually met Mikasa in person. Armin had shown me pictures of the three of them together but I had never met Mikasa and only talked to Eren a couple of times. I cleared my throat and took a long sip of my beer. This would be easier if Armin were here. “So…where is Armin?” I asked trying to break the ice but only slipping on it because the look she shot me sent chills down my spine. “He’s in my math class. We’re friends. He talks about you guys a lot, you and Eren.” I explained quickly trying not to sound nervous. Her beauty and her ability to extract fear was fascinating.  
“I don’t know. Talking to Eren I suppose.” Her voice was soft but firm. She sounded upset. I’m not the type to pry if I don’t know you and even if I did know her she doesn’t seem like a talker. I don’t particularly like talking about emotion but I would avoid talking about it with her. I took another sip and offered to get her something. She agreed and I handed her a beer.  
“So what’s your Major?” She took a sip and said how she wasn’t sure and how she was considering something in business. We started talking; talking about how we didn’t know what we wanted to do and why we are here, in this school and at this party. I enjoyed our light hearted conversation and she seemed to lighten up a little until the two idiots came stumbling in. They had their arms over each other’s shoulders and were laughing about something. Connie noticed me first and yelled my name. He let go of his tipsy friend and lunged toward me, landing his hands on my shoulders and patting them.  
“You came! And you found that girl we were telling you about.” His mouth turned up and formed a serial killer grin as he prodded my arm with his elbow. I furrowed my brows confused but then remembered our earlier conversation. Mikasa couldn’t be the girl. How did they even know her?  
“No Connie, I barely know her.” I pushed him away and felt a tiny bit of anger form in my chest.  
“That’s why you need to get to know her. Mikasa this is Jean, the guy I was telling you about.” Sasha was on the other girls’ shoulders explaining. Mikasa didn’t push her away but also refused. “But why, you need a date.” Sasha protested drunkenly. I listened to them bicker for a second then had to turn my attention to Connie whom was now verbally attacking me.  
“Dude you said you would.”  
“I said I would come, I did.”  
“Look you’ve come this far, now take it a step further and go on a date.” He encouraged throwing his hands in the air.  
“No Connie.” I let my feelings take over my words. What came out sounded like an angry father disciplining his disobedient child. The other boy stopped and looked over at Sasha just as we got to hear the last words of Mikasa refusal.  
“I am not going to lower my standards just because Eren has Sasha!” She exclaimed still softer that I think I could go being as angry as she looked. She set her beer down hard on the counter behind her and left. Both of the other people looked at me and waited for a reaction and specifically a bad one. It did hurt because I thought she was beautiful and I had a nice conversation, but I couldn’t blame her. Someone trying force a date on you felt awful. So I stayed mad but not at her, at myself for going to the party at all. I set my beer down behind me and turned to the door.  
“I’m going home.” I made it to the doorway when Connie and Sasha grabbed my arm.  
“We’re sorry Jean. We just thought because you both seemed lonely that it would be a good idea to set you guys up.” Sasha pleaded.  
“Yeah we didn’t mean-“But I cut Connie off.  
“Do you ever think that people want to be alone and don’t have to be attached at the hip like you two. “ I sneered. They both let go but before guilt could make me apologize I walked out and headed for the door.  
I don’t know if it was the alcohol or my anger but the world seemed colder and more confusing than it should have. My uneven, heavy steps collided with the dimly lit sidewalk and my cold but sweaty palms slide into my jacket pocket aggressively. The chilly November air surrounded me and began sticking to every part of exposed skin. The quiet of the street was a huge difference from the loud party. They seemed empty despite the young hour on a Saturday night. As I began to calm down laughter erupted from around me. Across the street a small group of students were walking in the direction opposite from me. By the look of their clothes and their smiles they were headed to the party I just left. A pang of jealousy rang in my chest but I scoffed at the unpleasant feeling. This was nothing new; me getting pissed at something or someone and storming off from my only source of social interaction. The real surprise this time was that I didn’t get into a fight. No matter how hard I try I would push away any form of human closeness. I decided I should get back to my dorm because if I stayed out any longer I would get into a fight with a random stranger for nothing, just so I could make myself feel not so alone.  
I pushed myself through the door and threw my, coat, wallet, and keys onto the couch and promptly staggered to my room. While shedding my clothes I realized what day it was and what tomorrow was. I slid into my blankets and drifted into a drunken slumber with the mystery boy on my brain, because I had art studies tomorrow.   
The next several class periods I tried to figure out if he was really dumb or just a big dick. I stared at him for as long as I deemed socially acceptable and he didn’t even look up from his paper. A couple of times I tried to wave and once I walked up behind him and said something but he turned the corner and didn’t acknowledge my questions of “how are you today?”. All of these little occurrences added up to a huge middle finger in my face. I was staring as I always did almost giving up on figuring this kid out when a large hand tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around with a death stare plastered on my angry features.  
“Yeah?” I asked staring at the large blond smiling man. His chiseled features read nice and almost weirdly fatherly. He leaned in close and pursed his thin lips.  
“You know, usually you have to talk to boys to get them to notice you. We’re usually oblivious.” He explained flatly but with a kind tone. My jaw dropped and a slight blush crept onto my cheeks. I lost my stern look while I stumbled for the words to defend myself.  
“W-What are you-“ I began but he continued his speech. He was clearly not going to listen to anything I had to say.  
“He seems very focused on his notes so maybe tapping him on the shoulder, asking him to coffee would work better than drooling and glaring from across the room. But what do I know?” He threw his hands up and leaned back in his seat. He crossed them over his chest and gave me an arrogant smirk. I flipped around and put my hands on the back of my chair. A finger raised and a rant ready on my lips, I opened my mouth but was stopped by a question.  
“Kirchen did you have something you wanted to add?” He asked knowing fully well I wasn’t listening to a word he was saying. I turned around slowly and gulped.  
“You know sir I would but I think you have much more to say about it and it’s better than anything I would ever have to say about it.” I offered with a voice much more shaky than I wanted it to be. He scoffed and folded his arms and stared me down. For a second I glanced at my freckled friend and he was looking at me. Of course it was when I was getting my ass chewed out. When he noticed my eyes on him he looked down back at his notes. He was just a dick.  
“I see you can’t even stay focused for long enough to look at me. Well why don’t you go and try to catch your attention span.” The professor demanded pointing to the door. I gathered my things filled with shame and headed for the door. Before I left I looked back at the blond guy who just held his hands out in front of him and mouthed “I’m sorry.”. I waited outside the door for another 45 minutes in the cold while the class finished. When people started flooding out I saw him again. The quiet boy glanced at me but walked away a little faster. I went to yell at him but saw the person responsible for me getting kicked out of class.  
“Dude what the hell!” I yelled grabbing the guys coat and pulling him toward me. I realized he was the size of a grizzly bear just a little too late. He was looking down at me, just a couple inches from me. Luckily he just laughed and rubbed the back of his neck.  
“Sorry, I didn’t know you would get kicked out like that.” He apologized. I scoffed and put my hands in my pockets to spare them from anymore cold.  
“Well the professor is a jerk but that isn’t why I stopped you. You have me all wrong I don’t-“  
“No you don’t have to explain, I get it. You are too shy to talk to that cute guy. He does seem really nice so I understand where you are coming from.” He smiled at his thought of the guy but I stopped him.  
“No no no, I don’t think he is cute. I just want to look at his notes but he has been ignoring me. Now I am invested and I have to know why he won’t talk to me. The guy won’t even look at me!” I exclaimed throwing my hands in the air then shoving them back in my pockets. The man in front of me made a noise indicating he was thinking then began walking. I followed curious of what he had to say.  
“Maybe he thinks you’re creepy.” He offered. I gave him a stern look.  
“Thanks, great confidence booster.”  
“Well you have been staring at him for a long time now.”  
“Yeah, but that’s only to get his attention. He won’t answer when I yell at him either.” I pause for a second then resume with a worried look. “Have you been watching me?” I ask straining my head to look at him. He looked down at me and shrugged and continued to walk as if that was an answer to my question. I shook it off and continued. “What am I supposed to do?” We turned the corner and stopped a few feet from the door that I assume lead into his next class.  
“Try talking to him at a normal volume instead of screaming at him down the hall. It probably embarrasses him. It would embarrass me.” He stopped in front of the room and looked down at me.  
“Really you are great at making me feel good.” I said sarcastically. He rolled his eyes and patted me on the shoulder roughly.  
“Good luck.” And with that he walked into the room and I was left in the cold more confused about my situation than I ever was before and now I had Blondie with a big mouth to worry about. This art class was turning out to be a bigger disaster than I thought it would be.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, thank you to everyone who has left kudos and comments. they mean the world to me really. I have just tried to adjust the format so if you guys like it or don't like it let me know. Lastly, this might be the only update for about two weeks. it is nearing the end of my senior year so it's getting really crazy up in here. If I have time before that I'll post. Well enjoy!

Steam swirled around my face and floated above my head. The scent of burnt milk and coca made my nose burn and my stomach ache for all of the wrong reason. I turned the machine off and dunked my rag in the small white bucket below my feet. The water turned a mucky brown as I rung the chocolate into it. I sighed and wiped the bottom half of the machine down, every so often wringing out more of the chocolate dirt concoction that was spilled all over the place. Normally I would have been pissed at who ever spilled this all over the steaming machine and I would have made them clean it up. Hell I would have leaned against the counter and watched them do it but this was different. Poor Armin poked his head up above the counter on the lobby side and looked at me with his furrowed and sympathetic brows.

“Jean, I am so sorry. Are you sure you don’t want me to clean it up?” He asked for the millionth time since spilling it. I sighed heavily and wrung my rag out for the last time.

“No it’s fine, I’m done anyway. But next time I teach you how to use this instead of the dingus twins.” I said picking the bucket up and glancing at Armin before walking to the back to dispose of the water. From where I was standing I heard feet scramble to meet me. Armin appeared tugging at his pony tail and nodding weakly. This kid was a mess of nerves. I finished washing my hands and walked over, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Dude really it's fine. You don’t even want to know the amount of messes I’ve had to clean up because Connie was dicking around or Sasha wasn’t paying attention.” I offered him a small smile and he perked up instantly. He actually fixed his hair this time and breathed out.

“Alright what’s next?” He asked with his new determination shining in his eyes. Throughout the shift I taught him pretty much everything he needed to know and damn I always knew he was smart but seeing it first hand still surprised me. He understood everything and repeated it with no problem. Usually with drinks I would have to repeat how to make it for someone at least two times before they got it but he didn’t need it. He just knew after I told him. The store closed and the key was in the lock when my mysterious freckled friend showed up, panting and looking cold. We held eye contact for a second and he looked down at my hands which held the open sign and the key. He nodded, turned and began to walk away but I quickly unlocked the door and called out to him while grabbing his cold shoulder. He turned and opened his mouth like he was going to say something but he didn’t. He just shook his head but before he could turn around I said.

“No it’s fine. One more coffee won’t hurt.” He looked at me for a good second then nodded and smiled apologetically. I shook my head and lead the way into the cafe. I jumped behind the counter and began making his drink which I remembered from the last time he came. I saw Armin still sweeping over my shoulder.

“Hey Armin ring him up please.” I said finishing his drink. Armin made his way over to the cash register. The guy handed him a piece of paper with his order on it and then paid. He grabbed the change from my coworker and placed a five in the tip jar. I walked over to see this action. I held out my hand with the coffee in it and smiled a little at him.

“Thank you for the tip.” Armin said graciously. The guy grabbed his coffee and genuinely grinned at us both then nodded. My heart stopped in my chest at the sight of his smile. I felt my cheeks grow hot and my speech stutter for a second. Armin spoke before I could regain my voice. “Have a nice night.” He called out as the guy turned and walked away, bundling up his coat to bear the brisk November air. He walked out of sight but I stayed at the counter for a second trying to hold onto that warmth of his smile. I glanced back at my coworker who was smirking and holding back a little giggle.

“What?” I asked defensively. Armin shook his head and let a small giggle out.

“You like that guy.” He claimed looking up at me with a smile as sly as he could manage. I scoffed and shook my head.

“No you have it all wrong. I know him.” I retorted not giving him eye contact and staring out at the night.

“From here?” He asked walking out from behind the counter and finishing his task of sweeping. I cleared my throat and got a serious look on my face.

“No, from my Art Studies class.” Armin’s jaw dropped and his eyes light up like a light bulb had turn on in his head.

“He’s why you like that class now!” He exclaimed tightening his grip on the broom. I turned quickly to face him and held my serious expression.

“No! I just have gotten more involved with the material.”

“Jean that’s crap and we both know it. You hated that class like two months ago now all the sudden you like the material?” I let his interrogation float in the air before I dismissed that too.

“Dude you’re reading way too much into this. Let’s just finish closing so we both can go home.” I jumped back over the counter and locked the door with the full intention of not opening it for anyone else. We stayed quiet for the rest of the shift and while we clocked out but as we were walking to the dorms he asked the same question I asked Connie a couple weeks ago.

“Why didn’t he talk?” He asked with hesitation. I breathed in and shrugged my shoulders.

“I don’t know. He’s never talked before. He doesn’t talk in class and he always has his order written down for everyone, that’s if we don’t have it memorized by now. He always orders the same thing.” I explained trying not to wave my hands as I spoke to keep them from freezing in the chilled air. Armin took this in then asked a question I didn’t.

“Does he have a speech problem like a stutter or does he just not like to talk?” We both walked in thought trying to figure out the best explanation as to why this kid didn’t speak. I furrowed my brows, scrunched my nose, and then made a humming noise in my throat.

“I just thought he had really bad anxiety.”

“Oh, that’s probably it. I have anxiety but I couldn’t imagine having it so bad that I couldn’t talk to anyone.” I saw his expression darken with the thought of the guy’s possible anxiety then with the fact that he exposed his own mental illness to me. “Oh Jean I didn’t-“, But I stopped him mid sentence.

“No dude I get it. We all have our thing.” I said looking down at him and offering a small smile. He accepted but still looked a little unnerved.

“You’re not going to tell anyone right?”

“Who am I going to tell?” I chuckled bringing my shoulders up to warm my exposed neck.

“Good point.” I jerked my head down and saw my blond friend laughing lightly. I paused then started to laugh myself. We parted ways in the dorm lobby and I made my way up to my empty room. It was nice to have someone to share these moments with, sharing intimate details about our lives and laughing at our shortcoming. I don’t have people like this in my life, hell I don’t even have a roommate. The university messed up and never gave me one. For so long I thought that I was destined to be alone. No friends, no lover, no family. But now I can see that maybe my life doesn’t have to be that way. I opened my door and put my uniform away and for once got ready for bed like a normal person.

Now every time I enter my art studies class Freckles, which is what I have started calling him, smiles at me. It only happens once and it’s usually at the beginning of the class but it’s a start. It’s better than him ignoring me. I pull out my pencil and write “Notes” at the top of the paper and I begin to mentally prepare to take these notes. I feel a strong tap on my shoulder and I know exactly who it is.

“You don’t plan on getting me kicked out again do you?” I asked without turning around. 

“Hey you got yourself kicked out, I just helped.” He whispered in to my ear. His warm breath tingling me and making me wiggle.

“What do you want?” I inquired harshly, changing the subject.

“Have you talked to him?” He whispered and I could almost hear his stupid grin.

“He came into my store last night after closing and I let him buy a coffee anyways.” I felt two hands clamp down on my shoulders.

“Ooh how romantic.” He cooed deeper into my ear and I couldn’t take it anymore.

“Dude back off.” I waved my hands shooting him off me and away from my ear canal. “I was just trying to be nice and you know look! It paid off because now he smiles at me instead of ignoring my existence.” I added feeling proud of my nice deed.

“Nice, so now he knows you’re a kind hearted stalker.” He retorted in a dull tone.

“Hey fuck you man.” I flipped around and pointed a finger in his face and regretting that action when I remembered how large he was. But luckily he laughed off my aggression. He seemed to have a great tolerance for aggressive shit heads and that’s exactly what I happened to be. 

“Alright simmer down, I was only joking. So what did you guys talk about?” He inquired leaning forward on the back of my chair and resting his chin down. I leaned back against the flat part of my desk and sighed trying to explain this in the best way possible.

“Well the thing is we didn’t talk. We never have. He doesn’t talk to anyone.” My blond fiend straightened up and glared at me.

“What do you mean? He’s never spoken to anyone?”

“No, not that I know of.”

“Dude that’s weird.”

“I scoffed and felt myself get defensive before I even said anything. “No it’s not.”

“Yeah it is. He doesn’t talk to anyone, like I would understand if he didn’t talk to you but not talking to anyone. That’s strange. Maybe he’s the stalker now!” He said looking up and over me and staring at Freckles. He stared until I brought him back to attention.

“We think he has really bad anxiety so quiet staring like a jackass.” I swatted him away and his eyes darted back to me and narrowed.

“We?”

“Uh yeah, a coworker of mine, you might know him. Armin Arlert.” I offered casually. His expression brightened and a large genuine grin popped onto his lips.

“Yeah! You know Armin? He’s the best.”

“You’re right he is.” There was a short silence where we both appreciated our friend.

“So he thinks he has anxiety?”

“He agreed with me. He thought he might have a really bad stutter.” I saw the gears in his head turning and he nodded slowly placing a hand on his chin.

“Both would be good guesses. We won’t know until we ask him.” He stood to go ask just as the professor walked in and glared daggers at him. He quickly sat and I turned around even quicker. I made a mental note that I would stop him from making a fool out of both of us and ruining my chances with Freckles. But really what chances am I even talking about? What do I want from him?

The rest of the class went by without injury and the poor guy didn’t get to Freckles in time to ask him anything. We walked out of the classroom and bumped right into Armin whom was accompanied by Mikasa and Jaeger.

“Oh hey, Jean, Reiner. What’s up?” He asked cheerfully. I shrugged and made a mental note of Reiner’s name because he hadn’t mentioned it and I didn’t ask. I made eye contact with Jager for a second then quickly moved to Mikasa who looked just a little embarrassed. Her behavior made complete sense considering she basically said that I was below her standard. I was honestly over out little encounter but she clearly wasn’t. I nodded my head towards both them and announced their names while doing it. Jaeger nodded and looked away quickly and Mikasa didn’t say or do anything. I shrugged it off and stood quietly as Reiner and Armin spoke.

“We have to run but I’ll talk to you later.” He smiled then turned to me. “See you at work.” He waved the started to walk away. I waved and called out my goodbye. I went to say something to Reiner but he was checking his watch and starting to walk away.

“I got to go too. We’ll talk about your little crush a little later. Bye Jean.” I felt my cheeks grow hot and I yelled after him.

“It’s not a crush.” He waved his hand in the air in response and turned the corner out of my sight.

I decide the best plan of action was to go back to my dorm and study. I didn’t have work or class for the rest of the day so that was the only option I had. The streets were sprinkled with little activity. A couple across the street holding hands and talking softly. A women headphones covering her ears and large curly hair laying on her shoulders as she walked to work causally. The day was bright and abnormally warm for the season. The day if it were seen in the eyes of someone else would be perfect, it wasn’t for me. It was just a normal day full of normal people and I was on my way to study. I would probably then order pizza and fall asleep alone. 

I stuck my key into the lock with a sigh and pushed the door open. The room was quiet and sunlight shone through the windows brightly lighting the room enough that I kept the lights off. I set my books and notes but on my desk and sat down with the real intent to study, but woke up an hour with highlighter stained on my cheek. The clock read six and I pondered what I wanted to do next. I would call Armin but he was working with Sasha and Connie not that I would call those two anyways. I looked through my contacts and that was it, those were the only ones in there besides my parents and how pathetic could I get that I have no friends so I have to resort to my parents for social stimulation. I angrily threw my coat on and walked out the door. 

The familiar bell dinged as I stepped into my place of work. Armin smiled a little surprised. “Hey Jean what are you doing here it’s your day off?” He asked placing the last of the cups in his hands on the stack of the rest. 

“Uh yeah it is, I uh was just needed a break from studying so I came here.” I said sitting down at a table. I grabbed the napkin container in front of me and threw it back and forth between my hands. Armin started making a drink and walked out from behind the counter and set it in front of me then looked closer. 

“Is that highlighter on your cheek?” He pointed at me and I aggressively tried and failed to wipe it off. “You fell asleep while studying huh?” he asked and I avoided his eyes. He chuckled and sat in front of me. I laughed a little too and looked at him. His apron was covered in various ingredients but the store looked clean. I narrowed my eyes at my friend. “Where are the wonder twins?” Armin chuckled nervously and tugged at his ponytail and then I knew. I stood and walked behind the counter and shouted. 

“Connie, Sasha!” There was no answer then I checked the whole store. “Where are they Armin?” I crossed my arms over my chest and tapped my foot restlessly. He stood and tightened his apron. This guy was so easy to read. 

“Sasha called in so Connie left early.” He said quietly. 

“Why did you let them leave! Why didn’t you call me!” I shouted throwing my arms up and grabbing my phone. I texted them both angrly then looked back at him. He didn’t say anything for a minute then breathed. 

“I didn’t feel comfortable saying anything to them because they have been here longer than me and I didn’t call you because it’s your day off and I had it handled.” he seemed much calmer than before and I breathed myself. 

“I’m staying for the rest of their shifts and I’m texting the boss now.”

“But”

“No, you can’t stay here alone and I have nothing to do anyways.” I slipped on an apron over my street clothes and helped finish prepping the store with Armin in silence. I texted the boss who said okay and that he wanted to talk with me. 

“Why does he want to talk to you? I was the one in the wrong.” Armin said anxiety crushing through his previously cool fasaud. I shook my head and put my phone away. 

“I don’t know, but I don’t think I’m in trouble. Normally he would just bitch at me but he isn’t. Maybe he’s going to fire me so he’s being nice.” I chuckled leaning against the counter and sipping my drink. 

“That’s not funny Jean.” Armin said seriously leaning back next to me. I laughed out loud and pushed him lightly.

“Don’t be to hurt I was only joking and besides I’m the only other competent one here and you can’t work everyday.” Armin nodded and went to say something when Freckles walked in nervously. He had his dark hoodie zipped up halfway, headphones in his ears. He looked at the floor and walked in but when he looked at me his smiled and waved. Ladies and gentlemen this boy waved at me and he has never done it before. My soul left my body and returned in the time that it took him to get up to the counter. Armin had already started his drink by the time I realized what was really going on. I put his order in and he handed me his money. He smiled again and I felt my face get warm. Why was my face doing that, this is just Freckles for god's sake. He left us with a tip and a warm smile and I waited. Waited for the warm to subside.

“He was in here earlier.” Armin stated still looking at the door as if something was happening. I turned my head towards him. 

“Really? Two coffees in a day he shouldn’t have that much caffeine.” Armin smirked and opened his mouth. “Not that I care but it’s not good for...someone...people. Anyways.”

“Yeah well he didn’t order anything. He came in looked around and left. It was weird.” Armin stopped and turned full towards me. “Do you think he was looking for you?”


	4. Chapter 4

The first day back from a holiday break is always the worst, and most depressing especially when you have a shift that first day back. It’s when you remember that your job and life thus far is not being lived to your fullest but, it wasn’t like that this time. I didn’t mind coming back to work and back into the grind of school. My thanksgiving wasn’t nearly as painful as expected. My family was pleasant and the weather was good. All in all for once in a very long time my life was going in my direction. For that reason I am just waiting for something to get fucked up. 

I stared out the window of the shop and watched people casually walk by. Connie flopped down on a chair next to me and sighed heavily. I didn’t look at him and continued watching. He sighed heavier and this time dropped his head onto the table.

“I am so bored.” He droned. 

“It’s cold, no one wants to come in.” I said looking around the clean shop. We hadn’t had a customer in hours and everything was done. Literally, I cleaned everything I could think of cleaning and still had time to just sit. 

“This sucks!” He said growing louder towards the end of the sentence. 

“You know if you hadn’t no call no showed you could be working with Sasha.” 

“You know that I showed up!” He slammed his hands on the table and looked at me.

“Yeah but you left your shift like four hours early. You might as well have not showed up at all.” He opened his mouth to argue but saw a slight smile on my lips. 

“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?” He sneered lowering his head back down. 

“A little.” I smiled looking back towards the window.

“Oh whatever boss man.” He put his head back on the table and groaned. I chuckled and checked my phone. Nothing, but it didn’t bother me like usual.   
As we finished the shift and the sun lowered into the horizon rain began to pout heavily down. Connie made his way to his car and pull it around the front. “Get in.” He said sternly. I shook my head and put a hand up. 

“Nah it’s okay, I have my umbrella.” I held it up and he shrugged his shoulders, taking off in opposite direction of me. The air smelled fresh and the sidewalk reflected the lights from the posts stationed everything 20 feet or so. The street was quite, barren from people and cars. It’s like the world was staying inside for a rainy day and I didn’t get the memo. I walked slower than normal enjoying the cool air and stray droplets hitting my umbrella. That’s when it happened again. The thoughts of him slipped back into my head with sluggish ease. Even if everything else was changing that didn’t. I hadn’t seen him since before the break and god damn it was it a good one. He smiled and even lingered a little before he left, it was like he was going to say something but he didn’t. 

But there was something else lingering in my mind. The end of the semester was coming quicker than I wanted it to. I had this useless art class with Freckles but it wasn’t going to last forever. I won’t see if as much as I do now and I will never get to talk to him because I can’t use the “notes” excuse. Also it’s the only time he doesn’t have headphones in. At least we still have the coffee shop and I won’t ruin my mood by worrying about the future, not this time. I opened the door to my dorm and shut it behind me. I slide my coat off and left it by the door. My phone buzzed in my pocket and I looked at the bright screen. 

"Can I come over, I have pizza?"

This was the first time Armin actually wanted to hang out outside of class or work. We didn’t have any assignment to work on and he didn’t need anything from me. He genuinely wanted to hang out. 

"Yeah, you know where I am."

I smiled a little and looked around peacefully, then my face dropped in fear. Holy shit my dorm is chaos in the form of a 20 year olds apartment. I sprinted and picked up all of the clothes scattered around the living room and bathroom. I opened my bedroom door and threw arm fulls in. then into the kitchen. I stashed dirty dishes in the sink and filled it with soapy hot water, If I couldn’t do the dishes I would pretend that I had intentions to do them. I gathered trash and put it in the garbage and everything else got stashed somewhere hidden and out of sight. I had an arm full of pop tart wrappers, a few books, some mail, and a sock when I heard a knock. My head spun in place while looking for somewhere to put the shit in my arms. 

“Uh coming...one sec.” I called running to my room and throwing it all in there and slamming the door. I ran to the door and opened it, face flush and hair in disarray. “Hi come in.” I said opening the door wider. He smiled and came in. He set the pizza on the nearest table and looked around. 

“Thanks. Wow this is bigger than I thought.” he put his hands in his pockets and looked around. I hoped my hiding places were sufficient. 

“Yeah when you live in a dorm off campus it’s a little bigger. I get my own kitchen and bathroom.” 

“Wow, where’s your roommate?” he asked looking to the room opposite of mine. I cleared my throat and went into the kitchen. 

“Never had one. My parents help out a little with rent so I never found one either.”he noticed the switch in my tone and moved on seamlessly. 

“Congratulations getting the new management job!” He exclaimed walking into the kitchen and helping me with plates and cups. 

“Oh thanks, I was surprised.” I set the cups down and got the soda and juice out of the fridge. I set them on the counter and let him pick what he wanted, which of course was the juice. 

“I’m not, you’re perfect for the job. Heck you trained me and it wasn’t even your job yet.” He said excitedly.   
I finished pouring the drinks and grabbed the plates. “Well you needed training and no one else was going to do it.” I sat down and offered him a seat. 

“Connie or Sasha could have, or the boss?” He offered but I chuckled. 

“Those dummies, training? Hell no and the boss stops by twice a year once at Christmas and on the fourth of July.” I handed him the pizza then got myself a slice.

“Well either way I am happy for you and proud.” he said taking a bite and grabbing the remote trying to find a movie to watch on cable. I choked on my pizza while he casually talked about the movies on TV. This bastard was proud of me, something my parents never were. Something I never thought anyone would be. It took me a minute but I finally responded to his movie offers and we agreed on some marvel movie that I hadn't seen yet. Turns out he is a fan and has seen them all. We finished the whole pizza by the end of the movie as well has my soda and juice. He looked at the clock and stood. 

“Looks like it’s getting late. I should go I have work tomorrow.” I stood and put everything in the trash or the sink which was now cold. 

“Yeah you’re probably right. That movie wasn’t half bad actually.” I said casually while he got his stuff on. 

“I can’t believe you haven’t seen The Thor movies.”

“I’ve never been a fan of superhero movies.”

“That’s a shame. Well are you a fan now?” He asked standing by the door and buttoning his coat. 

“It’s growing on me.” He saw the faint smile on my lips and was satisfied with that answer. He agreed that he would bring the next movie next week and I agreed I would buy the food. He left with a warm goodbye and I stared into my door for several minutes. I let the warm feeling of friendship linger until it was almost gone but I wouldn’t let it leave. I showered and crept into bed with this feeling cuddling me tightly. This is what it felt like to be...not alone, extremely underrated. 

I woke up the next morning to my alarm. The sun shone into my window brightly. The curtains covered most of the window except a small crack. I gave myself a couple seconds to enjoy the warmth of my bed before I would suffer the cold of my bedroom floor. When I did get up I looked out the window and saw blankets of white powering snow. It covered every surface of the ground and surrounding objects. Normally I would be pissed by the weathers development but it didn't bother me this time. I ran a brush through my hair then gelled it back a little and got an idea.I pulled out my newest sweater and slipped it on. I matched the dark maroon with black jeans a grey scarf and a black overcoat. I look in the mirror and liked what I saw. I guess all of the Instagram scrolling had finally paid off. I slide on my black combat boots and my messenger back and headed to class, Art Studies to be specific. 

As I walked briskly through the streets I put my black gloves on and tried to warm my hands. I began to feel a little self conscious about my outfit. It was definitely the most put together I had ever felt but also was it to much black. Did I look emo? Was my hair dumb? Did I look like a dumb wanna be frat boy with a dark streak? No of these thoughts subsided until I sat in my seat. I looked back at my friend behind me and his jaw dropped. My brows furrowed and my anxiety decided everything I had thought before was correct and I was a dumb idiot and I should head back home and never leave again. But instead of saying all of that I just said “What?” 

“Dude you look hot?” He said without hesitation and I stopped breathing.

“What? Why would you?” But I was stopped.

“Like you clean up very well. You should dress like this all the time.” He looked serious and shocked and maybe a little embarrassed and I felt a little less self conscious but at the same time so much more. 

“Uh thank you. I was worried about it to be honest.” I said pulling at the sweater. He shook his head and chuckled. 

“You shouldn’t be, if I were Freckles I would be on the ground foaming at the mouth.” 

“Oh that’s not a gross image, thank you.” I turned around and he laughed. It felt so good to be complimented and I thought maybe I should dress like this more often. I went through lecture like normal but at the end of class I looked at Freckles like I did every time but this time it was different.He just stared, no smile no movement. He looked frozen but with a red cheeks and nose. It was like he was locked outside all night and they just brought him back in to thaw. He hadn’t noticed my eyes yet but when he did his face darkened and he quickly got up and left. It was my turn to be shocked. As Reinier and I left he pushed my shoulder.

“You were so hot that you made him leave early.” He chuckled. I brushed him off and put my hands in my pocket. 

“Come on he was just probably sick or something. It is the time of year.”

“Whatever you say but I told you.”

“What?” 

“Foaming at the mouth.” He began to walk backwards and motion his fingers to mimic foam coming from his lips. My face scrunched in disgust and he left me there to ponder what happened. I shook the thoughts away and started to make my way to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, thank you all so much for being patient with me and my school stuff. I am graduated and officially done so I am going to update much more often. I have had so much fun with this chapter and am so excited for the next on because it is going to be so good. Honestly I need a drawing of Jean in this outfit because damn it is so his style, but anyway. Ignore and sleeping errors because it is hecken late and I don't have the energy to fix them. As always like, comment, follow and of course Enjoy.


	5. Chapter 5

I had work right after class which was not unusual but lucky for me I didn’t have to go home and change. I just had to slip an apron on and I was done. I walked in and noticed that the place was a little busy. I quickly got threw my coat off and my apron on when Armin turned the corner. 

“Wow Jean you look really nice.” He said with a little surprise. Sasha heard and flicked her head from the back and whistled. 

“Nice boss!” She yelled going back to her work. I rolled my eyes without saying anything but I couldn’t help but smile. I felt great and for once my the quality of my outfit matched how I felt. As I began my checks for the shift I made a mental note that I would start to dress like this more and maybe even do some online shopping if my budget would allow.   
Even though the weather was cold people came in at an alarming rate. “What’s with everyone?” I said cleaning the tables quickly while the store was empty for a minute.

“Finals are coming up.” Armin said without hesitation. Of course he knew he was an honor student. That just made me remember that I was neglecting my finals. Shit. Sasha groaned and came from the back where she had been doing dishes and various other things we needed done. 

“Armin do you wanna study with me for chemistry?” She asked then added “I’ll buy dinner.” He agreed and I know he would have done it without the dinner but it was just a added bonus. She then turned to me and asked “Will you help me with history and English?” She asked also offering dinner. 

“How have you made it this far Sasha?” I asked putting my rag away and crossing my arms. 

“Tutors and a lot of pizza.” She shrugged and I sighed. 

“Okay.” 

“Awesome! You're the best Jean.” She ran over and gave me a hug which took me off guard. She has never touched me before. She must be desperate. She gave Armin a hug as well before running to the back to finish her duties before she left. He smiled at her then turned to me to give a look, he had the same thought. We continued the shift without issue and it slowed down as we neared the end. No Freckles yet. 

“So you’re good at English and History?” Armin asked after Sasha left for the night. 

“I’m not too bad but I’ve recently started helping Sasha because she’s needed it.” I said sitting on the front of the counter. 

“That’s really kind of you Jean.” He said sitting in a chair near the counter and looking at me. When he saw me jump up and sit he laughed. “Look at you, the definition of professionalism.” 

“Oh I know.” I said putting my elbows on my knees and looking at him seductively. “I should be on a magazine cover for terrible cologne.” I held my pose as he laughed and the door rang out. I looked still in my position to see Freckles. He was stopped at the door and obviously holding back laughter. His hand lingered at his mouth as the other held the door open. I gave him the same look I was giving Armin before I realized who he was. His expression changed and I can't say for sure how it did. Blush grew on his cheeks and he just stood there. There wasn’t laughter but something else. I jumped off the counter so hard that I actually fell onto the floor. I stood and grabbed the counter resembling something like a newborn deer. I noticed he went to help me up but I was to quick at getting up. I glanced at Armin in horror and he burst out laughing. Laughing harder than he ever has before, or at least that is how he acted. 

“I am so sorry, I was just...I don’t know what the hell I was doing.” I said. My face was turning the color of Russian beets. When Freckles saw Armin he lost it too. Now both people were laughing at me. I walked behind the counter in shame and made his drink. I came back over just as they were finishing their fit. I handed him the cup but didn’t look him in the eye. He walked over to the counter to pay but I waved him away. “On the house because you had to witness... that.” He opened his mouth like he was going to argue but he didn’t, instead he held out a hand for me. 

“Marco.” His voice was soft and a little weird but sweet. He was sick I could hear it. I just stood for a second as he smiled at me. I grabbed his hand and was engulfed in warmth. His hand was so warm and safe. 

"Jean, nice to meet you.” I said breathlessly. We held hands and just looked at each other. He broke it off, chuckled and held the cup up to me. 

“Thank you.” He smiled again and waved goodbye to me and Armin who had went behind the counter without my notice. I just stood and said goodbye as the door shut. Freckles made my heart skip a beat, Marco made my heart stop dead in my chest. 

I don’t remember going home that night really. Of course I remember walking home and going to bed but if you asked me what I saw on the street or what time it was when I got home I couldn’t tell you. Marco was the only thing on my mind and boy did I let him take over.

This morning was different though. I didn’t have class or work today. There was nothing on my docket. So I cleaned and actually cleaned not just throw things under rugs or bed. I cooked and did little things I normally didn’t have time for. All of this took two hours and I was suddenly bored and letting things creep back into my mind. I picked up my laptop and began searching online clothing stores to buy new things.After awhile of browsing I picked out a couple of shirts, pants and a cardigan or two. I was feeling good until I looked at my phone.

“Hi, this is Jean right?” The text read. It was from an unfamiliar number but I knew who it was. Carefully I picked up my phone and decided how I wanted to answer it. 

“Yup that’s me.” As soon as I hit send I regretted it. “Yup that’s me.” Who was I? The main character of my own 90’s sitcom about my boring white life? I grabbed two fist fulls of messy hair and groaned. I was an idiot and I wouldn't blame who I thought this was if he just didn’t respond and moved out of state. 

“Oh lol, it’s Marco from class and the coffee shop.”   
What does he mean by “lol”? Is he just saying that because I was awkward or is he mocking me? He's probably not mocking me, he’s not an ass. 

“Oh hi, what’s up.” Smooth.

“Well I found your number on the side of my cup last night. By the time I found it I didn’t want to text you because it was late. Sorry.”  
My face fell and turned a pale white. Jesus H. Christ. I didn’t do that, I would never write my number on a cup like that. And I made the drink so I know I didn’t do it. Oh. My. God. I snatched my phone up and typed faster than I ever have before. 

“You mother fucker.” Was the only thing I said in the text to Armin.

“So you found out. When did he text you?” His tone was so casual considering what he’s done to me. 

“This morning. Why in the hell would you write my number on his cup. And how, I made the drink?” I used all caps near the end of the last sentence. 

“I knew he was going to come in late and order his drink like he always did. So I wrote your number on the next cup. If it was him I would make the drink and give it to him if it wasn’t him I would still make the drink but use a different cup. Lucky for me you used the right cup and didn’t notice the number. He was also distracted by you so he didn’t notice until later, probably really late that night so he decided to text you today.”

“...You scare me sometimes Armin.” I wasn’t mad anymore, just embarrassed. By the look of Marco’s text he thought that I wrote the number down. So that means he is okay with it and still texted me. I have to respond and quickly because he probably is feeling weird about it now. 

“That’s fine don’t be sorry. I’m glad you decided to text me.” I didn’t know the impact of what I was saying but all I know is it was true. We texted like this for awhile, and after a couple of hours he said he needed to study and I let him go. He promised to text me later and I hoped he would. I made a mental note to thank Armin and apologize for everything because this was the best moments of my life so far and it was all because of a stupid sharpie and a disposable coffee cup.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is a little shorter than usually but It has been my favorite this far and I hope you guys like it despite that.


	6. Chapter 6

It’s been a couple weeks since the coffee cup incident and finally after a long heated debate with Armin about Marco I asked him out to lunch. He said yes and we’re going somewhere very casual and this is all very casual. We’re just guy pals, like best buds. Despite us just being friends I still pulled out my best outfit for the occasion. I have been shopping more online and giving away some of my old clothes so I have the space to transform my wardrobe. It feels great to dress like a person and not someone who lives in a cave and picks out clothes even the goodwill wouldn’t want.

I looked in my mirror, combed my hair and ran palmade through it with open palms. I watched a youtube video that said this was a good type of gel and it was right. When my hair was finished I walked into my closet and pulled it out, the new outfit I had for this event. I’ve had it hidden because I really liked it and I never felt the time was right to wear it. But that time is now. 

I slipped on a pair of black slim jeans with a dark army green shirt over top. It wasn’t complete yet so I put my black bomber jacket on and white sneakers. I’ m not a name brand kind of guy so everything I bought was off brand but I still felt great. I finished the look off with a black ball cap and I was done. Now I just had two hours before I had to meet him. I got dressed early because I got nervous. I shouldn’t be nervous though we are just two friends meeting for lunch. We’re not even fully friends yet. We’re more like acquaintances trying to get to know eachother better. I heard two short knocks and panic set into my chest heavily. I walked briskly to the door and opened it. I sighed in relief when I saw my bubbly blond friend. 

“Hey you look great, what’s wrong?” He greeted me with a smile and eyebrow tilted in. I shook my head and chuckeld. I turned around and wiped my open hands on my pants. Armin shut the door behind him. 

“Nothing I’m fine.” I said taking my jacket off and setting on my dining table. Armin sat down placed his water bottle in front of him and leaned back in the chair.. 

“You seem nervous.” He pointed out. I scoffed and sat across from him. 

“Nah I’m fine.” 

“Jean I know you.” With that small statement I knew he had me figured out from the moment he walked in but he needed me to admitt it. Sometimes his level of intelligence is irritating and frightening. 

“Look I mean this is new for me. I don’t have a lot of friends. It’s just you really.” 

“You have Reinier..” He offered. 

“No I don’t. He only talks to me in class and that’s because he’s bored. He has never offered to be my ‘friend’ outside of the class but that's not my point. I just don’t wanna screw this up. He seems like a really good guy and I want to know him better.” I explained not looking at him. When I finally did look up his expression was odd. He looked like he felt bad for me but at the same time was curious about something. “What?” I asked pulling my mouth into a frown.

“Do you think you have any other reason why you’re nervous about this?” He asked leaning forward in his chair and placing his closed hands on the table. I shook my head. 

“No, why else would I be?” I stopped and looked at the blond seriously. “You have got to be, That’s not what this is Armin! I am not.. You know I am not even going to entertain that thought.” I burst standing from my chair and heading into the kitchen to get away from the outrageous idea. I got a cup to fill with water but didn’t drink it, I just held it in my hands as an excuse to not go back in there. From the kitchen I heard “You mean the thought that you could be.” I stopped him with a loud “No!” I stomped back in there water in tow and looked at him. He held his hands up in defeat. I sighed and sat back down at the table. He didn’t mention anything else about the subject for the rest of his visit. We talked about how finals went. I thought about bringing up how my art studies class was ending but I decided against that until later He was in the middle of explaining his chemistry session with Sasha when I looked at the clock. I got up and put my jacket on.

“You’ll be fine Jean, come into work after and tell me all about it.” He said patting me on the shoulder and giving me a genuine smile. I smiled back and walked out with him. We parted ways in the street and I started making my way to the cafe. It was a small joint just a couple blocks away. It was a lot like my work except it sold food along with coffee, and that makes a lot of sense considering this was his suggested place. It was cold outside when I started walking towards the bus stop. I got on the bus and sat in the seat closest to the back as I usually did. I plugged my headphones into my phone then right into my ears. I let the beats carry my thoughts away into whatever direction they desired and of course the destination was right back to Marco. I had been avoiding him in my mind all day because it gave me weird feelings. My stomach got tight and my head got light thinking about his face, hands, lips, eyelashes. 

Why for god's sake was I thinking about his eyelashes? What kind of man thinks about another mans eyelashes? On the same hand why did those curly thick motherfuckers make my heart do that weird thing it does when I am around him. I was at a loss for why I am feeling all of this. Nothing made sense at this moment and I was too nervous to pick it all apart. By the time I was calm enough to break down these feelings I was a block from the cafe.   
With shaky limbs I walked off the bus and all the way to the place. A little bell chimed as I opened the glass door. The room smelt like fresh bread, ground coffee, and warm soup something in the realm of chowder maybe. I looked around and saw him sitting there. His face was turned towards the window and his head was in his hands. Headphones dangled from his ears and he had this expression of anticipation. The light from the window reflected onto his hair and cheeks in the most perfect way. Shit, If I didn't start walking I would start thinking about his eyelashes again. 

“Hey sorry I’m late.” I said sitting in front of him. He looked at me and smiled then handed me a paper. I furrowed by brows in confusion.

“You’re not late I am just early. I am sick and have lost my voice so I am writing everything down to spare myself the pain. I hope that is okay.” It read in perfect purple cursive. I smiled back at him when I was finished. 

“Of course that’s fine.” We looked at each other for a minute before we began talking casually. I asked him if he wanted anything and he agreed and said the soup and bread were amazing. I walked up and got us both an order of it. The place was self serving for the most part. I just gave the order to the cashier but we didn’t have a server or anything. I came back with two serving and he looked a little shocked. 

“You did not have to do that.” He wrote then tapped the words with his pen. I laughed and shook it off saying it was my treat, because it was. This whole lunch was a treat for me so I might as well give him something. He thanked me sheepishly and we ate and talked. Eventually I pulled out my own pen and started writing myself. It was easier to eat and write, also I felt weird talking when he couldn’t. 

“So how serious is you’re cold?” I wrote in sloppy blue pen. He clammed up for a second. He didn't write or look at me. Part of me feared the possible worst. He had throat cancer and would never talk again and oh by the way he had six days to live. But what he wrote was very different. 

“Yes I am fine this is just a cold.” he smiled differently this time and I didn’t push. We finished our food pretty fast after that but we didn’t move. We moved our glass dishes to a bin then sat right back where we were before. He leaned back and held his notepad up in front of him after he finished each message. Then he would slide it towards me so I could do the same thing. It was like the cliche scene in every chick flick where the “best friends we were since kids” couple would hold up notes in their widows for the other to read. Except instead of me pinning from a window seal I was doing it face to face at a table. While he wrote I couldn’t help staring at him. Each time his head dipped down I would focus on something new. 

First it was his hair, it looked so soft. Brown waves brushed up against his ears and neck. Thick pieces sweeped in section on his forehead and fell loosely just above his eyebrows. It was parted in the middle but somehow it framed his face perfectly like a gentle well thought out oil portrait. Then he looked up.  
Next was his face. His eyes held the color of honey captive. It was never going to escape but instead live in an intertwined state with greens and browns. Just past the color was thick black lashes that never ended. His nose was small and littered with specks of freckles. They crept into his cheeks, the further they went from his nose the more there were. 

They lessened as they neared his soft pale lips. They were thin but that didn’t matter when he smiled. He looked up again with a smile playing on his lips.   
Lastly his hands and everything else I could take in. They were big and kinda square while his arms were long and broad. It is a wonder whether he works out or not. His body was toned but not muscular. He looked soft but not squishy. His hoodie was dark and clung to him loosely but still enough that you could see the width of his torso. This time when he looked up I didn’t immediately look away. His hand slide the notepad over while he stared at me. Our eyes didn’t meet until his fingers moved on top of mine accidently.   
We both pulled away with embarrassment growly rapidly on our faces. We laughed it off and he had written we should probably go, the staff doesn’t look pleased. I looked around and he was right. We had been there for two hours and I hadn’t realized. I agreed with a head nod and we stood. I left a good tip in the jar as we made our way out into the cold.   
Snow fell onto our faces gently as I walked him to the parking lot. My mind refused to let the feeling of his fingers fade. I was still stuck on the memory as he tapped the notepad onto my shoulder. I took it sheepishly. "I don’t drive" he looked a little embarrassed and I looked confused. 

“You take the bus?” I asked looking him in the eye. I smiled at his answer. “So do I, where do you live?” When he explained it was a couple blocks from my dorm it all clicked. That’s why he was always in my coffee shop, because it was close. 

When we got on the bus instead of writing he texted me. I didn’t know why he put the pad away so quick but he preferred text so that was fine by me. We texted while we walked to his dorm too. I guess it was easier than passing the pad around but it felt so much more impersonal, what could I do though? I saw his building just about the same time his shoulder bumped mine. I said sorry out loud but he didn’t move away. He stayed very close to my shoulder. My heart froze colder than the snow. He must be super cold right? 

I opened the door and he lead the way to his room. It was a normal grey door with no decorations to be seen, not even a name on it. He opened it then typed something out and showed it to me. 

"I really had fun we should do this again." 

“Yeah I would like that.” 

"I’ll text you and we can do something again." He smiled bringing the phone close to his heart. I agreed and he waved goodbye but before he went inside he flipped around and gave me a quick smile and hug. After the door shut I couldn’t move. It was like my feet forgot they were feet and decided this wasn’t the right job for them. After several long minutes of convincing them I made my way to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, this chapter has been a long time comin and I am excited. I did not get to spend nearly as much time as I wanted on editing or adjusting format so sorry if there is mistakes. Next time it will be better, hopefully. Well enjoy and leave a comment if you feel so inclined. Thanks!


	7. Chapter 7

I waved everyone goodbye happily and walked with Jean to his dorm like normal. When he shut the door I made my way down the hall and instead of going to the lobby and out the door like normal I turned down a different hall. I stopped in front of the last door in the hall and knocked briskly. The tall blond man opened the door and looked down at me with a surprised smile.   
“Hey Armin, what’s up?” He asked holding the door open so I could see more into his well lit dorm. Thank God this was a good time, but I thought I would ask anyways.   
“Hey are you busy right now?” I asked gripping the strap of my bag with both hands.  
“Nah I’m just watching a movie, wanna come in?” He moved out of the way so I could step in. His dorm was clean and very simple, but different kind of simple from Jean’s. Jean’s place lacked decorations of any kind but Rainier's had personality lightly scattered throughout the place. He either just moved in or he was lazy and didn’t want to set all of his stuff up. I bet his bedroom would have more decorations. I sat down on the couch next to him and placed my bag down at my feet. He leaned back and put his arms behind his head. “So what brings you by my humble abode at this time of night?”   
“I wanted to talk about Jean.” I said looking at my hands a little nervously. This was the wrong body language to give off at the moment. Rainier straightened quickly and looked at me a little shook.   
“You like him?” He asked leaning into my personal space. I leaned back and gasped.  
“No! I wanted to talk because I worry about him as a friend. Rainier I’m not gay.” I said with a bit of a frown. This wasn’t the first time I had to explain this but it doesn’t get any less irritating everytime I do it.   
“You’re not?”   
“No I’m straight.” I said with a sigh.  
“I didn’t peg you for the hetero type my friend.”   
“I know but that’s not the point right now.” I scolded while tightening my hair that was pulled back into a low ponytail. “Are you and Jean friends?” I asked very seriously. When he noticed my demeanor change his did as well. He thought about this for a second before answering.   
“I don’t know him very well but I would consider us new friends. I mean I like the guy. He’s funny and I like sitting next to him so I would like to be better friends with him.” he said sitting back again. I sat thinking for a second then got an idea.   
“You are still having a Christmas party next week for the break right?”   
“Yeah why?”  
“Invite him.” I suggested, but it was less of a suggestion and more of a demand. I handed him Jean’s number and stood to leave. “I should get going it’s late, thanks for talking with me.” I grabbed my bag and headed towards the door when he stopped me.  
“Woah woah buddy, want to explain a little?” I paused and sighed.  
“He doesn’t have any friends. I thought that he had more friends besides me but he doesn’t. He won’t let Sasha and Connie get close enough and he thinks you only talk to him because your bored and like to snoop in his relationship with Marco.”   
“Woah wait Freckles is Marco and they have a relationship?” He asked with a smile on his lips.   
“Not the point.”  
“Yeah, sorry.” He apologized.   
“The point is that I am worried that he’s sad and I think it would be good for him to come to a party that Sasha and Connie didn't force him into attending. Don’t tell him I did any of this it would make him feel worse.”   
“Of course I got you.” He said with a real smile this time.   
“Thanks.” I turned and opened the door but before I could leave I heard him call out one more time.   
“You have something else planned huh?” I didn’t answer him but left with a smile of my own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol can you tell I don't go to college yet and have really no idea how dorms work? It's okay just pretend they work the way I wrote them. Yay for writing inconsistency!


End file.
